Panic, Anxiety, Fear

Pink slip at work! “Go home today, you no longer have a job here.”

Panic, anxiety, fear…  for days, weeks, maybe months.

Sudden, unexpected relationship breakup! “I can’t do this with you any more, I can’t be with you anymore.”

Panic, anxiety, fear… for days, weeks, maybe months.

Many have faced at least one of these situations, probably both.  I have experienced both and in talking with a friend the other day who recently experienced the relationship breakup, being a Student of Experienceoffered me an empowering gift.

While exploring her experience, not the actual event itself as that is content and there is much more to learn from experience, she was searching for words to symbolize her experience.  After some time she found the feelings, fear, anger, sadness, etc. and with a bit more looking was able to identify their manifestation.  For her, these feelings manifested as shaking ( a shaking we agreed came from within our core and spread outward throughout the body), mild shortness of breath, general tensing and tightness in the chest, arms and legs.

Our conversation shifted to jobs, security and money.  As we talked, we explored my experience having lost a job few years ago and here lack of experience with loosing a job.  The gift of awareness came for me while exploring, or reliving what i experienced while losing a job when i suddenly realized for the first time, that my physical reactions are the same in both instances: loosing a job and ending a relationship.

In both instances i experienced similar physical reactions – shaking, shortness of breath, general tensing and tightness in chest, arms and legs.  Often, as is the case with her right now relative to her relationship ending a few months ago, these symptoms surface to keep her awake at night, as they did for me as well.

When i looked deeper,asking,  “How is it i experience the same physical manifestations in two so drastically different situations?”  I paused and waited silently for clarity and it came quicker than i expected.  My reaction was the same because the story i told myself in each case was the same; this event, this happening means i am being rejected, or abandoned; I AM NOT GOOD ENOUGH.

The event itself had very little to do with my experience!!!

It’s that simple, and looking at the experience i had in both cases showed me the cause.  I was not looking for the cause, not trying to understand or ask ‘why’.  I had done that and found very little.  But, it was exploring and staying with the feelings that provided the answer and as i said, in both cases i was believing a story that said i was being rejected.

Untrue?  Yes, untrue.  In either case the fact is, the person and/or the comapny was NOT rejecting me – they were making choices, that’s all.  The bottom line is, i no longer fit THEIR story of what they needed, wanted, etc.  Only when i take those choices personally, by believing they are rejecting me, will i suffer in anxiety, etc.

Thanks to the Student of Experience™ approach, i now have information about me, i understand me better.  When these symptoms surface again in my experience, if i am willing, i can look deeper to see if i am believing an untrue story.

I am always responsible for my suffering, and the willingness to look will set me free.


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