Birth: God Is.
7 years: God is a man with long flowing white hair and an old wrinkly face who looks down on me from the clouds. He listens to me when they make me tell him what I have done wrong and say I am sorry. Sometimes he gives me what I ask for and sometimes, he doesn’t. He scares me a little.
15 years: God is a spirit, like a ghost, but not a ghost. The Holy Spirit is a ghost, not God. God is a person and yet not a person. They tell me he loves me and at the same time they tell me he judges, condemns, and punishes me. They tell me I am guilty of things I didn’t do; that I am guilty of things other people did before I was born. I haven’t seen or heard from him. I really don’t see what the big deal is.
23 years: God, what God? I don’t need God. My life is great and I am living, loving, and having fun. Look what I’ve done; I have a good job, money, girlfriend, car and lots of friends, what else do I need. Life is great!
31 years: Who are you God and how do I find you? I’m frightened and angry all the time. Life is hard. I need help and you are never there. I hate you for not coming to save me. I reject you as you have rejected me.
37 years: God, or something, touched me today. Life brought me to my knees and for the first time in this life, I stayed there for a while. Not knowing how, I asked for help. I asked in a way I never have before; with genuine need and desire. In that moment of darkness I asked, and immediately I felt a weight lifted off my shoulders. It was as real for me as the sun rising in the morning. The finger of God touched my shoulder and I cried. Maybe.
40 years: You have to meet God! It’s the only way! Ask and he will answer. Be saved. I can help you.
46 years: God is peace. Follow his laws of love. Honor life and honor him. My participation in groups, family, religion and the like has changed my life. I thank God for all of it.
55 years: The God I know today is not the God I thought I didn’t know all of my life. The God I know today is a friend who has shown me the beauty in this world and the beauty in me. I talk to him the way I would talk to a friend and I have told him my darkest secrets. I tell him how I am feeling and share my fears with him. I don’t ask for anything because in telling I get all I need.
59 years: I am beginning to see that now I must be still and listen. If I am doing the talking, when is there time to hear? God offers guidance when I give him the chance to actually guide.
63 years: Meet God from where you are now and God is there with Love and nothing else. In meeting God, I meet myself.
Moment before death: God is.
I have tried for years to bring God to me and that has never worked. Only when I go to God with all of my pain, joy, suffering, sadness, and love as an offering to me, only then do I experience relief that comes in the form of peace; the peace of God. Only when I genuinely go to God, fully naked, empty-handed and willing to expose the depths of my experience, do I uncover the Peace of God already in me.
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